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No.499  最終検討用【手紙文】
発言者: ハーブ
発言日: 2002 11/14 19:24
満杯になる前に、三度目の正直で(?)ツリーを新しくしました。それに伴いもう一度本文をもってくる以上はと、ここまでに判っている分は修正しました。
[480]+[490] それ以降の修正点は最後のカッコ位置のみ。
検討中の問題が★で、暫定案です。文末で解説。
-----------------------------
Dear Ms. Boyens,

This is my second letter on Japanese subtitles for your film "The Lord of the Rings".
I sent you a letter in September and you kindly replied to me. My fellow members of the movement for better and proper subtitles on FotR have been much encouraged by your letter. Let me thank you again on behalf of them.

Firstly, I report to you about the subtitles in DVD/VHS released in Japan on September 21st. I'm sorry it has taken so long. The reason is that the members have not reached an agreement on the evaluation.

We did find that some of the errors in the subtitles were revised, but opinions differ among the fans, from "acceptable as a whole" to "absolutely unforgivable". At least, "The Most Serious Errors" which I sent you the list of, were all repaired except for these two lines :

>The Departure of Boromir (chapter 38)
Aragorn:
[script] I let Frodo go.
[subtitle] He has left.
Boromir:
[script] Then you did what I could not.
[subtitle] I am ashamed.

That is, Boromir is not a liar, and there is not "the Creator of life" anymore. But in my opinion, there still remain too many bad translations and unsuitable words for the scene in the subtitles in DVD/VHS. I think they are far from satisfactory, not at all what your FotR deserves, though I admit that they are better than the theater version.

I have picked up some of the remaining errors to show you, and with the help of translators have made "A List of Mistranslations in DVD/VHS", inadequate as it is. It is attached at the end of this letter.

And secondly, I have another bad news to tell you: your current trailer for "The Two Towers" on the Japanese official website released on October 18th, to our great dismay, is marred by the Japanese subtitles AGAIN. TheOneRing.net took up this news and I enclose a copy of the article in this letter with the list. Maybe you know it already?

On the above-mentioned site in June Nippon Herald Films Inc. said that for TTT Ms. Akiko Tanaka (one of the two Japanese translators of the original books) and Hyoron-sha (the publisher) would help the subtitler.
But to be frank with you, I cannot trust to its word, because there is no guarantee of their authority over the subtitler. However useful counsel they may give, it will be no use if the subtitler does not accept it (we have good reasons to fear that is very likely to be the case).

My friends and I are very anxious about subtitles in the coming film "The Two Towers". Now we are preparing another petition to ask for good and proper subtitles for TTT and RotK.

★I wish you or your agent could come over to supervise the making of subtitles, with a good interpreter whose knowledge in Japanese language and whose judgement you can trust. It may be too much to ask. Still we believe that your interest in this matter can bring a big change.

We are looking forward to seeing your TTT, now all the more for the trailer and the supplements in DVD. (I was greatly thrilled when I found you in one of the interviews!)

Sincerely yours,


(白い都手書き署名)
----------------------
(以下別紙)
p.s. Before sending this letter I put it up on our Website, 'Workshop for Better Subtitles (on FotR, now on LotR Movies)', to show it to my fellow members. And those who share my opinion were eager to support me, and wanted their names to be sent to you along with my letter.

(連署:本名住所ローマ字印字)
------------------------

小さい変更。
>We are looking forward to seeing your TTT( now all the more for the trailer and the supplements in DVD. I was greatly thrilled when I found you in one of the interviews!)

⇒We are looking forward to seeing your TTT, now all the more for the trailer and the supplements in DVD. (I was greatly thrilled when I found you in one of the interviews!)

★No.497 に書きました通り
> I wish you could appoint an agent to supervise the making of subtitles,
>仮定法にしてしまうと完全に不可能ということになりませんか
との指摘、私はもっともだと思いました。

現時点での私の考える解決案:路線は二つ。
a) ファン心理として、「あなたが日本に来られたらどんなにいいでしょう」(これはファンでなくとも海外の文通相手にはよく言いますよね。「お会いしたい気持ち」の別表現)を含める。
案: I wish you could come over to supervise the making of subtitles,
(無理は承知で、夢想願望の仮定法「あなたが来られたらいいのにと思います」)

b) 現実的に実現可能範囲の提案希望として、「代理人を指名していただき、日本に字幕製作監督をしに来てもらいたい」
案: I wonder if it is possible that you will appoint an agent to supervise...
( 「〜することは可能ではないでしょうか?」という感じ)

上記本文中では結局その折衷で、もとの白い都様案に近いところに戻した
>I wish you or your agent could come over to supervise
としましたが、これはあくまで暫定的な逃げの文案です。

ぎりぎりまで、本当にすみませんが、ご意見お待ちします。>Evenstar 様、 Telperion 様

その他外部からの(=初めての)方々を含めた皆様も、過去の経緯はお読みでなくとも構いません。上記の英文を通読しての「ここが引っかかる、違和感ある」などありましたらお寄せ下さい。応答は保証できませんが。

(新ツリーにしたのは、容量に余裕がないと、「まとまってから書き込まなければ」というプレッシャーが無意識にかかるからです。新しい場所で余裕があれば、自己削除して投稿しなおしても、思いつきで数行だけのコメントでも、あとから一行付け足してもOKですから)

▼関連発言

497:手紙文:疑問点指摘ツリー [ハーブ] 11/14 12:25
 ├499:最終検討用【手紙文】 [ハーブ] 11/14 19:24
 │├503:見落とし [ハーブ] 11/14 22:53
 │├505:さらに指摘(minor) [ハーブ] 11/15 00:05
 ││└506:修正しました [白い都] 11/15 01:12
 ││ └509:一行あけます [ハーブ] 11/15 02:03
 │├507:夢見る表現etc. [Telperion] 11/15 01:14
 ││└511:[雑談]感謝&さては [ハーブ] 11/15 03:36
 ││ └524:[雑談] 気遣い感謝 [Telperion] 11/16 02:28
 │└510:【重要】大幅修正? [ハーブ] 11/15 03:25
 │ └512:Re:【重要】大幅修正? [Evenstar] 11/15 05:55
 │  └513:[お詫び]実はアイキャッチ... [ハーブ] 11/15 11:45
 │   └519:[雑談]一瞬、肝を冷やし... [白い都] 11/15 22:26
 ├515:【最終稿】手紙文 [ハーブ] 11/15 15:31
 │└518:手紙文の和訳&疑問点確認 [白い都] 11/15 22:10
 │ └521:和訳&疑問点回答 [ハーブ] 11/16 00:24
 │  └527:では、本文はこのままで [白い都] 11/16 12:40
 ├520:【最終稿】誤訳リスト [ハーブ] 11/16 00:17
 │├522:↑コロンでした [ハーブ] 11/16 00:40
 │└523:ささやかながら [Telperion] 11/16 01:51
 │ └525:correct でなくて [ハーブ] 11/16 09:55
 │  └526:change でいきます [白い都] 11/16 12:34
 ├528:[参考資料]未掲載指摘集 [ハーブ] 11/16 16:28
 └529:投函予定の手紙文、誤訳リスト [白い都] 11/16 20:16
  ├530:↑【完成稿】です/あと雑談↓ [ハーブ] 11/16 22:01
  └539:Boyensさん宛て投函(報告と御礼... [白い都] 11/18 18:58