Evenstar 様、ここだけ見て（応答して）いただければ事足りるかと思います。ご多忙でしょうにすみませんが、優先順位はっきりさせましたので、何卒よろしくお願い致します。

頼んでいたネイティヴの人から、予想以上に「赤入れ」されてしまいました。鵜呑みにするのではなく、ある程度選んでここに提示します。全体の流れを見る、はもう済んでいるので、注釈はその都度（段落の切れ目で）赤字で入れてあります。レスをいただく際の便宜のため、今回に限り段落番号つき。
★が「重要・検討とご意見お願いします」。☆は「私なりの結論は出しましたが、自信をもって断言はできないので助言ほしいです」。挟むかたちで２個ずつ使っています。
*は、今回ネイティヴの人（以下ＮＶ氏）による変更がなされた箇所（原則として右肩）です。逐一もとの文［499］を注釈として対比させてあります。

Dear Ms. Boyens,

1) This is my second letter on Japanese subtitles for your film "The Lord of the Rings".
I sent you a letter in September and you kindly replied to me. My fellow members of the movement for better and proper subtitles on FotR have been much encouraged by your letter. Let me thank you again on behalf of them.

2) Firstly, let me* report to you about the subtitles in DVD/VHS released in Japan on September 21st. I'm sorry it has taken so long. The reason is that the members have not reached an agreement on the evaluation of the subtitles*.

>I report ⇒ let me report
>末尾にof the subtitles を補う

3)We did find that some of the errors in the subtitles were corrected, but opinions vary* among the fans, from "acceptable as a whole" to "absolutely unforgivable". At least, "The Most Serious Errors" which I sent you the list of, were all repaired except for these two lines :

>differ ⇒ vary

The Departure of Boromir (chapter 38)
変更無しにつき省略

4) That is, Boromir is not a liar, and the line* "the Creator of life" is not there anymore. But in my opinion, there still remain too many bad translations and unsuitable words for the scene in the subtitles of* DVD/VHS. I think they are far from satisfactory, and* not at all what your FotR deserves, though I have to* admit that they are better than the theater version.

>there is not "the Creator of life" ⇒ the line "the Creator of life" is not there
いきなり引用"創造主"では何の事かわからなかったため、the line を補ったということなのですが、これは脚本家さんにはわかるでしょうから必ずしも変更の必要はないかもしれません。
>the subtitles in DVD/VHS⇒the subtitles of* DVD/VHS
前置詞の差はわからないのでとりあえず受け入れ。
> and*と have to*が加えられました。
これは、特に後者は、必要だと思います。

5) I have picked up some of the remaining errors to show you, and with the help of translators have made "A List of Mistranslations in DVD/VHS", inadequate as it is. The list* is attached at the end of this letter.

> It ⇒The list*
確かにこの方がはっきりします。必要度は高くないにせよ。

☆6) And secondly, I have another bad news to tell you: your current trailer for "The Two Towers" on the Japanese official website released on October 18th, to our great dismay, is marred by the Japanese subtitles AGAIN. TheOneRing.net took up this news. I enclosed a copy of the article in this letter with the list, ☆though you may have already read it☆.

>もとの文：Maybe you know it already?
>指摘訂正案Ａ：Have you noticed this news?　（ＮＶ氏）
>指摘訂正案Ｂ：You might have read it already.　とか？
☆私としてはＡは何だか失礼な気がして、かつＢは仮定法にもそうでないのにも使うので
⇒ , though you may have already read it. としてみました。☆

7) On the above-mentioned site, Nippon Herald Films Inc. announced in June that for TTT Ms. Akiko Tanaka (one of the two Japanese translators of the original books) and Hyoron-sha (the publisher) would help the subtitler.
But to be frank with you, I cannot trust to the announcement, because there is no guarantee of their authority over the subtitler. *No matter how useful their advice is*, it will be no use if the subtitler does not accept it (we have good reasons to fear that this would be* the case).

announced、announcement については、Telperion 様白い都様とも同意で、決定。
☆
>However useful counsel they may give, ⇒No matter how useful their advice is,
単に現代語として普通の表現に変えたということでしょう。

>that is very likely to be the case ⇒that this would be(very likely) the case
二人から同じ箇所に指摘を受けました。カッコ内をのこしたのがＮＶ氏。私はなくていいかとも思う。どちらにせよ be likely to を would に変えるという点で一致していたので、それは採用。☆

8) My friends and I are very anxious about the* subtitles in the coming film "The Two Towers". Now we are preparing another petition to ask for good and proper subtitles for TTT and RotK.
>the*加えられました。

9) ★I wonder if it is possible that you will appoint an agent★ to supervise the making of subtitles, with a good interpreter whose knowledge in Japanese language and whose judgement you can trust. It may be too much to ask. Still, we believe that your interest in this matter can bring a big change.
★[499]参照 Telperion 様ご意見により b) 案をここでは採用していますが、最終決定は白い都様かと。★

10) We are looking forward to seeing your TTT, now all the more for the trailer and the supplements in DVD. (I was greatly thrilled when I found you in one of the interviews!)

Sincerely yours,

（手書き署名）

★11)
もとの文：ただし時制のみ were ⇒ are
p.s. Before sending this letter I put it up on our Website, 'Workshop for Better Subtitles (on FotR, now on LotR Movies)', to show it to my fellow members. And those who share my opinion are eager to support me, and wanted their names to be sent to you along with my letter.

>ＮＶ氏による修正：後半（２文目）のみ変更
p.s. Before sending this letter I put it up on our Website, 'Workshop for Better Subtitles (on FotR, now on LotR Movies)', to show it to my fellow members. So below are the names of those who share my opinion and are eager to support me, who also wanted their names to be sent to you along with my letter.

私はここはもとのままの方がいいように思うのですがどうでしょうか。★

▼関連発言
│
└◆497:手紙文：疑問点指摘ツリー [ハーブ] 11/14 12:25
　├◆499:最終検討用【手紙文】 [ハーブ] 11/14 19:24
　│├◆503:見落とし [ハーブ] 11/14 22:53
　│├◆505:さらに指摘（minor） [ハーブ] 11/15 00:05
　││└◆506:修正しました [白い都] 11/15 01:12
　││　└◆509:一行あけます [ハーブ] 11/15 02:03
　│├◆507:夢見る表現etc. [Telperion] 11/15 01:14
　││└◆511:［雑談］感謝＆さては [ハーブ] 11/15 03:36
　││　└◆524:[雑談] 気遣い感謝 [Telperion] 11/16 02:28
　│└◆510:【重要】大幅修正？ [ハーブ] 11/15 03:25
　│　└◆512:Re:【重要】大幅修正？ [Evenstar] 11/15 05:55
　│　　└◆513:［お詫び］実はアイキャッチ... [ハーブ] 11/15 11:45
　│　　　└◆519:［雑談］一瞬、肝を冷やし... [白い都] 11/15 22:26
　├◆515:【最終稿】手紙文 [ハーブ] 11/15 15:31
　│└◆518:手紙文の和訳＆疑問点確認 [白い都] 11/15 22:10
　│　└◆521:和訳＆疑問点回答 [ハーブ] 11/16 00:24
　│　　└◆527:では、本文はこのままで [白い都] 11/16 12:40
　├◆520:【最終稿】誤訳リスト [ハーブ] 11/16 00:17
　│├◆522:↑コロンでした [ハーブ] 11/16 00:40
　│└◆523:ささやかながら [Telperion] 11/16 01:51
　│　└◆525:correct でなくて [ハーブ] 11/16 09:55
　│　　└◆526:change でいきます [白い都] 11/16 12:34
　├◆528:［参考資料］未掲載指摘集 [ハーブ] 11/16 16:28
　└◆529:投函予定の手紙文、誤訳リスト [白い都] 11/16 20:16
　　├◆530:↑【完成稿】です/あと雑談↓ [ハーブ] 11/16 22:01
　　└◆539:Boyensさん宛て投函（報告と御礼... [白い都] 11/18 18:58