誤訳リストのコメントに関する覚書のようなものです。
・旧版改正
８月に「誤訳リスト」作成した時には合議で、ハーブにははっきりした主導権がありませんでしたし、遠慮もまだあって、納得のいくものばかりではなかったのでした。でもすでに同じ相手に送っているものですから、変更は最小限にとどめました。（時制は公開中と公開終了後の違いによる。内容変更については、＃837末尾から847、852が『人類』。＃853、854『ゴンドール廃墟』関連）

・急ぎ新版
フィリパさん宛にはコメントはいらなくても、NL宛には必要、と随分前から言われていながら、ぎりぎりのやっつけ仕事になって申し訳なかったです。でも、いったんは「出来ませんっ！」と言っていたことを考えると、そして特に Evenstar 様がほとんどについて手直し案を下さったので、ずっと気が楽になりました。決定稿の多くは Evenstar 様案を使わせていただいていますが、再確認を兼ねて報告と私見など。もう終わってしまったので、後悔先に立たずではありますが、ここはやっぱり拙かった、という点があればご指摘下さい。（あと一日あったらなあ、と毎度ながら思うことしきり）
------------------------------------------

＞Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe (chapter 6)「用事がある。片付けねば」
ハーブ案：This is the scene where it occurs to Gandalf the ring might be the One Ring, and the suspicion urges him to leave in a hurry. The subtitle fails to show the gravity of the situation.

Evenstar 様案： This is the scene where it occurs to Gandalf for the first time that the ring might be the One Ring, and this suspicion prompts him to leave at once. Yet the subtitle fails to communicate the gravity of the situation.

決定稿：This is the scene where it occurs to Gandalf for the first time that the ring might be the One Ring, and this suspicion urges him to leave at once. Yet the subtitles fail to communicate the gravity of the situation.
（こういう特定箇所の数ラインの時は、いつも the subtitle が単数か複数か悩みます。

＞The Shadow of the Past (chapter 8)　指輪の力
★ここだけは悩んだ挙句、どちらでもないものになりました。
ハーブ案：Viewers cannot see, reading only this translation, why the powerful wizard will not take the burden in stead of the little one. The ring is all the more terrible in the hand of the great, and that is the very reason that no one but Frodo the Hobbit is to be the ring-bearer, the hero and the center of the whole story.

Evenstar 様案： In this translation, the wizard gives no helpful explanation as to why he himself refuses to shoulder the burden and makes the little one to do so in his stead. Here, the very reason that the ring is all the more terrible in the hand of the great than to be kept in possession of an ordinary remains untouched.

決定稿：This translation gives no helpful explanation as to why the powerful wizard refuses to shoulder the burden in stead of the little one. The ring is all the more terrible in the hand of the great, and this is what sets Frodo, not a great warrior nor a wiseman, at the center of the story.

＞The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)「ゴンドールの王だと？」
ハーブ案：These subtitles strongly give an impression that the word 'king' is quite unfamiliar to Boromir, as if Gondor were a republic that had never known kingship.

Evenstar 様案＝決定稿：These subtitles create a domineering impression that a 'king' or 'kingship' as a notion is quite unfamiliar to Boromir, as if Gondor were a republic.

＞The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)「重荷を分かち合おう」
ハーブ案：Again the subtitle misses the biggest point. The burden of the ring can not be shared. It is solely Frodo's.

Evenstar 様案＝決定稿：The subtitle utterly fails to illuminate the core issue here, that the burden of the ring-bearer belongs solely to him and that it cannot be shared.

＞The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)「ゴンドールは従う」
ハーブ案：Boromir does not 'obey' the council here, he only concedes to it. He has not given up his argument yet that the ring can be a powerful weapon against the enemy, and this will lead to his tragedy at the climax.
> The subtitle makes Boromir a betrayer, who once obeyed and then turns to his own selfish purpose.

Evenstar 様案： Boromir does not 'obey' the council's decision, he only concedes to its will. Yet the subtitle conjurs an image as if Boromir has given up his argument to use the ring as a weapon against the enemy. As a result, he gets portrayed as a betrayer in the later stage of the film, who once obeyed and then turns to his own selfish scheme.

決定稿：Evenstar 様案のうち、
>given up his argument to use the ring as a weapon against the enemy.
⇒given up his argument altogether.
これは、「恐怖に負けたら終わりだ」のコメントと完全に重なる部分をカット変更。

＞A Journey in the Dark (chapter 28), The Road Goes Ever On...(chapter 39)
ハーブ案：（なし）
Evenstar 様案＝決定稿：The philosophical discussion gets denigrated down to a mere issue of street smartness.

＞Parth Galen (chapter 36)「警告に思える」
ハーブ案＝決定稿：The subtitler does not seem to know that 'but for' is one thing and 'but' is quite another.

Evenstar 様案：The subtitler is wholly unfamiliar to the English usage of 'but for': a clear show case of mistranslation.

＞Parth Galen (chapter 36）「恐怖に負けたら終わりだ」

ハーブ案全面書き直し：To Boromir the ring is a gift, a powerful weapon that can be used against the Enemy as he said at the council. That has never left his mind and he cannot accept the idea that the ring should be destroyed. None of such thoughts of his is expressed in the subtitle.
⇒Evenstar 様のチェックなしで自動的に決定稿。

＞The Departure of Boromir (chapter 38) フロドは発った。恥ずかしい。
８月案：With these subtitles the audience cannot see that Boromir recognizes Aragorn as his superior, nor that Aragorn resisted the ring's temptation to which Boromir had succumbed.

Evenstar 様案＝決定稿：Here, Boromir understands that Aragorn won over ring's temptation to which Boromir himself has succumed to, and as a result he recognizes Aragorn as his superior. Yet the subtitles do not introduce these trains of Boromir's thoughts and emotions.

▼関連発言
│
└◆867:【依頼】チェックお願いツリー [ハーブ] 12/12 02:13
　├◆868:新・誤訳リストの英語コメント [ハーブ] 12/12 02:13
　│├◆901:直らなかったリストの和訳 [白い都] 12/12 21:48
　││└◆906:Parth Galen 修正案 [ハーブ] 12/13 01:29
　│└◆909:Re:新・誤訳リストの英語コメント.. [Evenstar] 12/13 07:06
　├◆869:修正英語コメント＆リスト表題 [ハーブ] 12/12 02:14
　│└◆902:形式・誤訳リストは表紙なし [白い都] 12/12 21:57
　├◆870:手紙 【最終稿】修正＋同封資料リス.. [ハーブ] 12/12 02:17
　│├◆871:同封資料リストのスペルミス申告 [白い都] 12/12 02:31
　│├◆907:手紙文のスペルミス申告 [ハーブ] 12/13 01:40
　│├◆908:手紙本文の現状 [白い都] 12/13 02:34
　││└◆912:P.S.について [Evenstar] 12/13 08:35
　││　└◆917:ありがとうございました [ハーブ] 12/13 15:15
　│└◆911:Re:手紙 【最終稿】修正＋同封資... [Evenstar] 12/13 07:42
　├◆913:【連絡】完成稿は午後のうちに [ハーブ] 12/13 11:17
　│└◆914:【完成稿】NL社宛手紙文 [ハーブ] 12/13 11:42
　└◆915:【決定稿】誤訳リスト [ハーブ] 12/13 14:28
　　├◆916:誤訳リスト選択解説 [ハーブ] 12/13 14:30
　　└◆918:【緊急！】OurPeopleとWhiteCity... [白い都] 12/13 19:57
　　　├◆919:Re:【緊急！】しまった、時間延.. [ハーブ] 12/13 21:10
　　　│└◆920:発送明日。午前１０時締め [白い都] 12/13 21:33
　　　│　└◆922:言い忘れ・行動予定 [白い都] 12/13 21:44<-last
　　　└◆921:暫定訂正案「種族」 [ハーブ] 12/13 21:42