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No.909  Re:新・誤訳リストの英語コメント
発言者: Evenstar
発言日: 2002 12/13 07:06
白い都さま、ハーブさま、お疲れさまです。
私も雑念を払いのけ、ガンガン飛ばしてまいります。脳が休止状態に入る前に手紙本文までもう1度熟稿したいので、変更についての注釈を端折ります。もしもご質問があれば、明日夕刻にきちんと時間をとってお答えする所存です。なお、コメントがプライオリティーであるというご指示に従い、コメントだけに言及しています。「ミス」に相当すると私が考える箇所は限られています。もしも変更してある場合、その主な理由は、主張が出きる限り 'to the point' になるように試みてみた、ということです。

-----------------------------------

> >Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe (chapter 6)
> Gandalf:
> [script] There are some things that I must see to.
> [subtitle] I have my business.
> Frodo:
> [script] What things?
> [subtitle] What business?
> Gandalf:
> [script] Questions. Questions that need answering.
> [subtitle] Many things. I have to finish them.
> comment:★This is the scene where it occurs to Gandalf the ring might be the One Ring, and the suspicion urges him to leave in a hurry. The subtitle fails to show the gravity of the situation.

comment: This is the scene where it occurs to Gandalf for the first time that the ring might be the One Ring, and this suspicion prompts him to leave at once. Yet the subtitle fails to communicate the gravity of the situation.


> >>The Shadow of the Past (chapter 8)
> Gandalf:
> [script] But through me, it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.
> [subtitle] But its power is too terrible to imagine.
> comment:★Viewers cannot see, reading only this translation, why the powerful wizard will not take the burden in stead of the little one. The ring is all the more terrible in the hand of the great, and that is the very reason that no one but Frodo the Hobbit is to be the ring-bearer, the hero and the center of the whole story.

comment: In this translation, the wizard gives no helpful explanation as to why he himself refuses to shoulder the burden and makes the little one to do so in his stead. Here, the very reason that the ring is all the more terrible in the hand of the great than to be kept in possession of an ordinary remains untouched.


> > >The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)
> Boromir:
> [script] Gondor has no king. Gondor needs no king.
> [subtitle] A king for Gondor? We do not need one.
> comment:These subtitles strongly give an impression that the word 'king' is quite unfamiliar to Boromir, as if Gondor were a republic that had never known kingship.

comment: These subtitles create a domineering impression that a 'king' or 'kingship' as a notion is quite unfamiliar to Boromir, as if Gondor were a republic.


These subtitles give
> > >The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)
> Gandalf:
> [script] I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins. As long as it is yours to bear.
> [subtitle] I will share the burden. I will be watching you.
> comment:★Again the subtitle misses the biggest point. The burden of the ring can not be shared. It is solely Frodo's.

comment: The subtitle utterly fails to illuminate the core issue here, that the burden of the ring-bearer belongs solely to him and that it cannot be shared.


> >>The Council of Elrond (chapter 23)
> Boromir:
> [script] If this is indeed the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.
> [subtitle] If this is the decision of the council, Gondor will obey it.
> comment:★Boromir does not 'obey' the council here, he only concedes to it. He has not given up his argument yet that the ring can be a powerful weapon against the enemy, and this will lead to his tragedy at the climax.
> The subtitle makes Boromir a betrayer, who once obeyed and then turns to his own selfish purpose.

comment: Boromir does not 'obey' the council's decision, he only concedes to its will. Yet the subtitle conjurs an image as if Boromir has given up his argument to use the ring as a weapon against the enemy. As a result, he gets portrayed as a betrayer in the later stage of the film, who once obeyed and then turns to his own selfish scheme.

> > >A Journey in the Dark (chapter 28), The Road Goes Ever On...(chapter 39)
> Gandalf:
> [script] So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you.
> [subtitle] Everyone feels that way when he's having a hard time, but you can't change it. What's more important for you is, to think what you should do at the moment.
> NOTE: Only the subtitle for the latter part of the first line has been changed.
> [subtitle in theater] Everyone feels that way when he's having a hard time, but it is too late to regret.

comment: The philosophical discussion gets denigrated down to a mere issue of street smartness.


> > > >Parth Galen (chapter 36)
> Frodo:
> [script] I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom, but for the warning in my heart.
> [subtitle] Your words sound kind, but they mean warning to me.
> comment:★The subtitler does not seem to know that 'but for' is one thing and 'but' is quite another.

comment: The subtitler is wholly unfamiliar to the English usage of 'but for': a clear show case of mistranslation.


> > >Parth Galen (chapter 36)
> Boromir:
> [script] We're all afraid, Frodo, but to let that fear drive us to destroy what hope we have. Don't you see, it's madness.
> [subtitle] We're all afraid, but if we are overcome by fear, all will be lost. Don't forget it.
> comment:★Just where is all that the ring means to Boromir?

英文自体に問題はもちろんないのですが、このコメントで云わんとされるところが今一つ分かりかねます。

> > >Parth Galen (chapter 36)

このコメントについて、お勧めできるような変更はありません。

> > >The Departure of Boromir (chapter 38)
> Aragorn:
> [script] I let Frodo go.
> [subtitle] He has left.
> Boromir:
> [script] Then you did what I could not.
> [subtitle] I am ashamed.
> comment:With these subtitles the audience cannot see that Boromir recognizes Aragorn as his superior, nor that Aragorn resisted the ring's temptation to which Boromir had succumbed.

comment: Here, Boromir understands that Aragorn won over ring's temptation to which Boromir himself has succumed to, and as a result he recognizes Aragorn as his superior. Yet the subtitles do not introduce these trains of Boromir's thoughts and emotions.

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