| 私が書きたいと思う主旨を伝えて、ハーブさまに英文を作成していただきました。
昨年のように、掲示板にあげて皆で検討すればもっといい文章にできたかもしれませんが、作業に１ヶ月かかるのではRotKに間に合いませんので、差し当たり第一便として、私だけで出しました。
足りないところは他の皆様が補足して、ドンドン手紙を送ってくださるように、内容を公表します。
本文の要点は、
・TTT-SEEの追加字幕がヒドイ。デネソールは野卑な悪人にされている。今回は戸田がノーチェックだったようだ。
・今年の夏に字幕運動の代表者が日本ヘラルドに対し、注意と協力を申し入れたのに無視された。
・このままではRotKが危ない。
・ご助力乞う。日本ヘラルドに圧力をかけて、RotKの劇場版・SEEともに、TTT劇場版と同じ手順を守らせてください。また、ファン代表にチェックさせてください。
資料として、ヒドイ字幕例の再英訳を数箇所と、SEE追加全字幕を付けました。
今回は日本語のニュアンスの問題が多かったので、再英訳しても理解してもらえるかどうか不安ですが、何もないよりはインパクトがあるだろうと。
別の事例を再英訳できる方は、ぜひ送ってください。
＃＃＃＃＃ 本文 ＃＃＃＃＃
Dear Ms. Boyens,
Merry Christmas from Japan!
Congratulations on the great success of the New Zealand premier of "The Return of the King"!
But alas, I must inform you of bad news---another disaster in the Japanese subtitle translation. However unbelievable it sounds, it's true.
On 3rd December, the long-awaited Special Extended Edition DVD of "The Two Towers" was released in Japan, and to our great dismay, cries of disappointment immediately filled the Web. What happened to the positive remarks and praises on the translation in the theater release of "The Two Towers"?
The problem lies in the added scenes of the SEE. We found out that the new Japanese subtitles for those scenes were horribly poor. They did not in the least do justice to your well crafted script. It's a terrible blow to us since we thought our battle had been over.
The Japanese subtitles make Denethor talk like a lower-class villain. Not a shred of his eloquence or intelligence is to be found. Subtitles whose quality is just as abysmal as those in FotR have been delivered. I'm sure Ms. Toda, who did the subtitles, went her own way, unchecked this time.
The three leaders of our movement for Better Subtitles on LotR Movies (who helped refining translation on TTT theatrical release) did send a written inquiry on SEE subtitles last summer to Nippon Herald Films Inc. They asked whether the same crosscheck-method was to be employed as had been in the theatrical release, and emphasized how much it would mean to us fans to have descent subtitles for the added scenes. They also offered their help for improving the subtitles. No reply came.
And now we find the same insult upon Denethor, just as his son Boromir suffered in Japan in the first installment---he is simply "a bad guy", two-dimensional and vulgar.
We are more stunned than angry: The distributor and the subtitler seem to have learned nothing.
Last year, we tried to pressure Nippon Herald Inc. into providing better subtitles, and with your help, for which we are enormously thankful, it agreed to have some experts on "The Lord of the Rings" supervise Ms. Toda's translation for the theatrical release of TTT. It was open enough to invite the three leaders I mentioned above to their screening and listened to their opinion. How we rejoiced at that! But somehow, it resumed its previous attitudes as if nothing had happened.
For "The Return of the King", despite our repeated question, no official announcement has been made from Nippon Herald Inc. about the procedures that will be used for producing the subtitles--whether the system will be the same as in the case of "The Two Towers". The fans are simply kept in complete darkness right now. Such being the situation, a lot of Japanese fans are tormented by anxieties towards the worst-case scenario for the RotK subtitles.
We Need your help again. We hold our hope in your audio commentary in the SEE release, a section in Chapter 23 where you talked about the Japanese translation. It's a solid proof that you have been checking and correcting the Japanese translation. That's our light in this darkness, our Phial.
Could you please encourage Nippon Herald Inc. to adopt the same strategy they did for "The Two Towers"? And could you please find ways to enable the same fan representatives (they're very literate and devoted, I assure you) to join the oversight effort as well? For "The Return of the King", BOTH theatrical release and the SEE, we want the very best translation possible. We firmly believe that is what your work deserves.
Sincerely yours,
Enclosures
(1) Examples of Bad Translations in the Added Scenes of "The Two Towers" Special Extended Edition DVD(4-disk) [Re-translation into English]
(2) Japanese Subtitles in the Added Scenes of "The Two Towers" Special Extended Edition DVD(4-disk), released on 3rd December, 2003
＃＃＃＃＃ ヒドイ字幕の例 ＃＃＃＃＃
Examples of Bad Translations
in the Added Scenes of "The Two Towers" Special Extended Edition DVD(4-disk)
[Re-translation into English]
----- Chap10 Night Camp at Fangorn
Pippin：They think we have the Ring.
［Japanese subtitle］指輪かな？
(Roma-ji) Yubiwa kana?
［re-translation］The Ring? / Is it the Ring? /The Ring, isn't it?
comment：A very tense moment for Merry and Pippin is completely ruined by an idiotic interrogative.
-----Chap30 Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit
Faramir：If he would not rather have stayed there...in peace...
［Japanese subtitle］それとも自ら進んで―
来たのか
(Roma-ji) Soretomo mizukara susunde---
Kita no-ka
［re-translation］Or he came voluntarily.
comment：This line is quite puzzling. Maybe the translator failed to see that it should follow "You wonder..." and took the line for "he would rather not stay home?"
Whatever the reason is, the meaning is almost reversed.
-----Chap41 Sons of the Steward
Denethor：They say you vanquished the enemy almost single-handedly.
［Japanese subtitle］片手で敵を潰したと？
(roma-ji) Katate de teki o tubusita to?
［re-translation］You've ground your enemy with one hand, eh?
Denethor：Do you trouble me with Faramir...I know his uses, and they are few.
［Japanese subtitle］やつの話は よせ 役立たずだ
(roma-ji) Yatsu no hanasi wa yose. Yakutatazu da.
［re-translation］Stop talking of that scum. Useless.
Denethor：I think not.
［Japanese subtitle］やめとけ
(roma-ji) Yametoke (a colloquial/slang for "yame te o-ke")
［re-translation］Knock it off.
comment：With an old-style English, Denethor arrogantly and relentlessly denies his son Faramir. In Japanese subtitles he is nothing but a mean, vulgar villain.
Denethor：But for Faramir, this city would still be standing.
［Japanese subtitle］この都は陥落したぞ
(roma-ji) Kono miyako wa kanraku sita zo
［re-translation］This city has fallen...
Were you not entrusted to protect it?
［Japanese subtitle］お前のせいでな
(roma-ji) Omae no sei de na
［re-translation］...because of you. / ...it's your fault.
comment：This is over-simplified and quite a bit of information is lost.
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LotR なんでも掲示板